Anger

Anger, what a title! I suppose I first thought of it when a relative was saying at our home and was watching something special on the television. I came home from work and sat down to hear this relative say,(while setting the remote in front of me) you can turn it. Now "they" were sitting watching this show and even though "they" gave up the remote(a sign of control I think),it still put me in the position of being the bad guy or insensitive jerk if I chose to change the channel to the news. I guess my anger(which I don't often express) comes from the manipulative way people get what they want when on the surface it seems they are being nice. Ok, so much for what set me off on this little story. As I stated earlier, I don't express my anger very easily. I tend to stuff a lot of my emotions (yes, I'm a guy), but on the other hand there are those who express themselves way too much. Some people seem to be always angry or hurt or resentful. I have been described as a very easy going person who seldom seems upset. I suppose part of this is true because I don't sweat the small stuff. What does it matter in the long run? There is the basis for my problem. When should we sweat the small stuff and when should we let it go? I struggle with meaningful communications and am striving to rectify this. One of the ways I am trying to do better is by writting in this blog. Sort of venting in writting but not having the guts to actually say it. I do know that I have a lot to say and maybe with the help of some of my friends in blog-land I will tell a story of growing up, going to war, being remarried, having kids and stepkids, of finding Jesus right by my side and not knowing it, of becoming a Servant-of-Christ. So until next time, "Happy trails to you, until we meet again, happy trails to you, keep smiling until until then".

Inspired by Ivory

I did something I don't think I have ever done before. I read the paper wrapping on a bar of Ivory soap. Each bar wrapper has a little saying on it and this one said "if you want to be free, learn to live life simply". One of the first thoughts that came to mind was, yes the monks probably had it right. Then I started looking at my life and how simple (or not so simple) my life is. When I try to do too much, even my Christian work, I find I am less able to comunicate well or cultivate relations as I should. Jesus ask us to do very little. He said to be as little children in our faith, serve others before yourself and proclaim the good news to all points on earth. Simply put I think it is live as He would. Would Jesus ride in a Lexus when a Kia would do (ride a stalion when an ass is available. I guess the fat around my waist tells more of a story of how well I am doing. With daily reminders and the help of my friends I can continue to learn more and strive to follow the one who I proclaim to be a follower of.
john

Life of Luxury

Recently we had a visit from new friends. John, Ruth and their daughter are from Kapenguria, Kenya. Our life styles are quite different but our God is the same. During their visit God granted me a view of my blessings and greed! One evening we were sitting in my livingroom visiting, John was sitting in a leather recliner. I showed him how to recline and put the foot rest up and he was gleefully in the lap of luxury. Oh, how he enjoyed himself, oohing, and ahing, loving the comforts of our home.
Just before comming to our home we and others had just watched a video of John's church. The church is under a large tree. The tree giving comfort of shade in the hot African sun. The pews were small tree trunks laying horizontally on blocks about eighteen inches off the ground. This days congregation consisted of clashing tribes, who upon arrival were armed with all kinds of weapons. Through the love of Jesus John spoke to his congregation and soon the weapons were stored away and singing and holding of hands was everywhere.
Looking back on our visit I see many things. God has blessed me with living in the United States where most any thing is possible. God has blessed me with a nice home, a couple of cars, a church building that is overflowing with brothers and sisters. God has let me meet new friends in different counties whose lives are quite different from mine. God has given me opportunities to travel and share my life change with many. I see my many blessings and I see the many needs all over the world. What would God have me do? I think the way is very clear. He has to given me so that I might know they joy of giving. I think that God has supplied a way for me to see that others are allowing me to give of my possessions, that I might receive the gift of love. Being able to enjoy the real gift is the only "life of luxury".

kudos

It is not often I get a warm fuzzy feeling. Yesterday out of the blue, a group of people I get to help serve, gave me a compliment. "I am their favorite". I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to accept complements, so I made a joke of it (my own insecurities). They laughed and said no we really mean it. I said thank you and went on about doing what I do for them feeling oh so humble. Why should I be special to them when I only do what I do because it makes me feel good. I like being around them and sharing the joys of life. I do try to see them through the eyes of Jesus. If they happen to get a glimps of Jesus through my eyes then I guess maybe I am doing what He has asked each of us to do. I sometimes think that I don't do enough so then try harder, but is even that enough? I realize that if I quit trying so hard and just love people and let the light shine from my eyes then that is when Christ can be seen. I am far from perfect but on occasion I listen (what a concept)and hear that voice calling to me, John feed my children. Jesus said to Satan, "It is written; 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'" So, what can I do? Maybe just go on feeding with both bread and the word of God living Christ love and humbly thank each for the chance to give what I can.

Mt. St. Helens

As I sat trying to figure out who I really am I turned into a mountain. I am not one who likes conflicts and would rather stuff my feelings than to possibly offend you with words from my emotions. I have been trying to deal with that a lot lately. It was after a trip to Mt. St Helens that I ended up framing a photograph I took of of the mountain letting of a little steam (ok some steam and ash - there has to be a little dirt in every story). This picture reminded me of how when over time a little bit of pressure continuously building up can blow the top right off and damage other things around it also. If given a chance to vent(let off steam) the mountain seems to grow and become more magnificent.Thus I metaphorically framed the solution to my life situation. Better to vent a little than to blow up and do damage to my self and those I love. So, I start my venting here with a warning to one and all. I may say somethings that may seem harsh and unloving but I am just expressing hurt and pressure that has been building up over the years. I still seek good and strive to be Christ like but I am human (with lots of human flaws). I ask ahead of time that you forgive my sometimes harshness in the way I speak, because it is not really an attack on you, it is a release by me. Enough for now, By Gods grace I will grow into a true child of God.

An example to the children

One of the things I do for fun is drive a school bus for a Christian school. We only drive for special events like sports or field trips. This leads into something that Ive seen and can't understand.
Why do we Christians think it is ok to break the rules if its just a little thing? As I said I drive a bus, but I have a very hard time dropping the kids off in the "bus zone" when parents seem to think it is a good place to park " A few minutes". Signs posted say "no stopping, parking or drop off/pick up. When we are suppose to be examples to the children and we break the rules, especially in front of them, how are we to expect anything but disrespect for any rules. If we break them, why can't they? O.K. it's a pet peeve of mine and I'm just letting off steam, but I ask you, are you as guilty as I am of practicing what you/I preach?
john

Timming Is Everything

I was recently united with someone special in my life. After about twentyfive years I was promted by God to search out the where-a-bouts of this very special friend. I know that God is working on my heart because when I finally made contact with her my world changed once again. I was pleased to hear that her husband was about to graduate from seminary. I asked if I might come to the graduation and meet her family.
Life is grand! I flew from Washington to Texas and met a fabulous family. Reconnecting with Mary was a blessing, she has not changed much. From being that young, bright girl to being a grownup, brilliant mommy. Mary still has that rare gift of loving beyond the surface. Although only an old friend from the past, I was made to feel like a special guest at Patrick and Mary's home. The children clung like grandkids, showering me with love. Her husband Patrick treated me with more grace than I deserved, a stranger showing up to help celebrate his many years of hard work.
So I say to you, never forget old friends, stay in touch with those you love and always tell them how much you love them.